Soap can make freshly washed items "squeaky clean" because it contains a substance known as liquid squeak. In fact, it takes the squeaks of five hundred common mice to make one bar of soap. Because the mice must be painfully slaughtered in order to extract the best possible squeaks from them, many animal rights activists are engaged in a prolonged boycott of all soap and soap-related products. This is why hippies are dirty.

Another gem from Dave's Web of Lies